I Fell Off The Wagon and Landed on My Fat Ass

Feeling a little bloated today.

OK, comparatively speaking, it’s not that fat.  It used to be fatter.  I’d like it to be smaller if it’s going to appear in a bikini in November though and that’s what today’s blog is about.

After five nights of broken, poor quality catnaps, I fell off the wagon in a big way.  I ate pizza.  I didn’t just eat one slice, which is my usual when I cheat with pizza.  I ate three.

I’m paying for it today just as I knew I would.  I feel bloated and puffy.  If I were to draw a self portrait of the way I feel today, it would bear a striking resemblance to the stay-puft marshmallow man.  I’m miserable.

That brings me to my decision to enact a little cleansing fast.

I know, I know, there are those of you gentle readers who do not believe in depriving the body of nutrients and will spout untold amounts of scientific data at me to show me just how wrong I am but when it comes right down to it, I know my body.  I know what it needs.  Right now, it needs to be clean.

Sidenote: John and I had agreed to do the Master Cleanse on January 1^st but I’m jumping the gun a bit because I feel like I need it now.

What I’m doing here is effectively a Ketogenic Diet.  I’ll fast for three days (Wednesday through Friday) for the initial cleanse.  I’ll be drinking 1-2 gallons of water per day with some lemon juice and some supplementary cayenne and cinnamon, and plenty of green tea to keep my energy levels up while my body is transitioning from carbohydrates to stored fat as fuel (I still have the kids to take care of).  I don’t recommend this for everyone, but this isn’t my first ketogenic rodeo.

I’ve done this before with great success.  During the first 2-3 days, my body will tap all the carbohydrates that pizza left in my system and then be pretty pissed off when I don’t feed it more.  That’s the period when the dragging of butt begins and the green tea needs to kick in.  It last about a day.

On the 2^nd or 3^rd day, when my body realizes there are no new carbs coming to make glucose, it will begin the transition to converting stored fat into the secondary source of fuel: ketones.  Ketones take a lot more energy to create and that process bumps up the metabolism.  Rather than getting the sugar straight from the source, the body has to complete a long series of chemical functions to create ketones from bodyfat.  (Or, as I like to think of it: spinning gold from straw.)

Once the transition occurs, usually late on the second day or sometime on the third day, I’ll be operating solely on stored bodyfat and riding what I like to call the ketogenic high.  You see, after day #3, when all the carbs are gone and the fat is burning is when I get my reward.  The desire to eat is strictly emotional at that point.  If I’m not surrounded by food, or watching people eat, I feel no urge to have any.  I don’t feel hunger and I have an abundance of energy.  Another benefit is a feeling of mental clarity I experience.  This is an optimal time for me to complete big projects and get ridiculous amounts of work done.  (Something my business partner will be happy to see, I’m sure.)

Sidenote: My father and brother have ADHD and my mother suspects she does too.  After doing some research, I suspect I may have a bit of the predominantly inattentive type myself.  This may explain my love of ketones.

I’m very careful when exercising while fasting.  The first three days are the only ones I ever feel faint if I exercise.  Since I can’t get in to boot camp sessions this week, now is the perfect time to do a cleansing fast.  By the time Monday rolls around and I can get back to boot camp, I’ll have been riding my ketones for a couple of days and feeling strong (and lighter).

In the past, I’ve noticed a loss of one pound per day on sedentary fasting days and up to two pounds per day on active (moderately exercising) fasting days.  I’ve never managed a fast for more than ten days because my love for food, and being surrounded by it and unsupportive people, has always won out.  I’d love to be able to run this one through the end of the year but let’s just see what happens, shall we?

Thanks to that pizza, I weigh 180 today.  Stay tuned and I’ll keep you posted.